Disclaimer: None of this is mine. Transformers belong to Marvel, Hasbro, Takara, and IDW. This story is somewhat safe to read. Rated M for language and suggestive stuff. There is plenty of that on ff.net. This is based on the comic More than Meets the Eye Ongoing.
A Drift and a Drip
The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and all was right with the world. That was what Rodimus would have loved to on-lined to after he was knocked out unconscious while partaking in a round of hi-grade with the rest of his crew. He wondered what he had done to piss off one of his crewmates to go to that extreme! Whoever the bastard was, they hit him from behind. How cowardly could someone get?
Rodimus tried to move, but found his wrists bound by some sort of steel rope that almost stretched him out at either side. At least his legs were free. He could kick whoever was keeping him prisoner, but then who would free him? Why was the room so dark? Ultra Magnus would have a good laugh at his expense if the enforcer found him like this. Oh, yes. "Robocop" would never let him live this one down. Rodimus hoped that Ultra Magnus's faceplates would not break off when he laughed. Primus forbid the jackass would crack a smile!
"Hello." Rodimus said as his optics adjusted to the darkness of the room. "Anyone here? If someone is here, please untie me so I could get back to commanding this ship
and to get something for my hangover!"
A sound of movement caught Rodimus's attention. The Autobot leader's eyes spotted the silhouette of a tall figure with blazing blue optics. Why the hell did he have to be shorter than half the crew? Rodimus took comfort in the fact that he was at least taller than Bumble Bee and he could squash the little pain in the ass anytime!
"Look, if you're going to kill me, just tell me first why so I could plan an escape at least!" Rodimus said as an optic of his adversary was raised. "Hey! It's only fair! Please keep going for at least thirty minutes to an hour. It takes me ten minutes to warm up."
"You talk too much, you know that?" A familiar voice pointed out as Rodimus's eyes narrowed finally recognizing his so-called adversary.
"For crying out loud, Drift! What the hell!" Rodimus demanded as he tried to get free of the restraints. "Wait a sec! Did you attack me from behind? Why didn't anyone stop you?"
"One, yes I did and two, everyone was too overcharged to do anything about it or notice." Drift pointed out as the white taller robot approached him. "You really should never let your guard down, dear Captain."
"So I did. Now what are you going to do about it! Teach me a lesson?" Rodimus bit back in sarcasm.
"Not exactly. Ever since we left Cybertron, the crew had been kept in the dark about what you and Ultra Magnus had found. I would like to know if you found the Knights of Cybertron yet." Drift asked.
"So instead of asking me outright, you knock me out and tie me up. Makes great sense!" Rodimus said.
"Just answer my query." Drift demanded calmly.
"Query?" Rodimus asked unsure of what that meant.
"You're kidding, right? Query is a question." Drift pointed out.
"Oh. That query. I was just testing you." Rodimus lied as he inwardly sighed. "Okay, besides stray petro-rabbits, Kup's boring ass journals that I deleted, a few wayward and lost Autobots, and one very nasty spark eater that still gives me nightmares
oh, I forgot, and one dead Rung, there is nothing else to report. Happy?"
"I beg to differ." Drift countered as Rodimus's eyes widened. "I have a report right here!"
The young red, orange, and yellow Autobot with the flame pattern on his chest watched as Drift took out a datapad and turned it on. The Autobot leader could see the impatience on Drift's face. Patiently waiting for the small thin computer to come on, Rodimus figured to make conversation.
"Darn computer!" Drift muttered through clenched teeth. "That is the last time I will get one of these on sale through the supply acquisition!"
"So, how are things besides what you are looking up?" Rodimus asked.
"I can't complain too much. I found out more about the Knights of Cybertron. I did look up other stuff across the galaxies we passed. I downloaded some very interesting references that we could use as survival techniques. Remind me to share them with you sometime." Drift said, as his gaze was intense on the datapad.
"Sure. Send me an email." Rodimus said.
"There was this nice vacation resort planet before its sun exploded." Drift pointed out. "Shame really. It killed the tourism industry for that galaxy. Now they have to find something else to exploit."
"That sucks. I would've liked to have sunbathed although it probably would have bleached my finish like that one time in Malibu." Rodimus trailed off not liking that memory at all.
"Oh! Here we go! It finally got to the home screen!" Drift said as a smile lit up his face. "Here are Magnus's notes that I hacked. Now listen up to the deception you two have wrought!"
"Hacked? You hacked Magnus's quadruple secured files?! You must teach me how to do that!" Rodimus said astonished by Drift's actions.
"Maybe some other time." Drift started as he read the notes. "He said that he thinks the Knights of Cybertron are a myth and that he'll keep humoring you until you realize they don't exist or you just come up empty handed when we reach our final destination."
"WHAT!!!!" Rodimus shouted.
"He also wrote that the Knights of Cybertron are as real as Santa Claus. Even if we found them, he said that they could not solve all of our problems." Drift made a face. "He's a non-believer?"
"All of that is news to me, so could you please let me go!" Rodimus demanded trying to free himself of the restraints. "If I were privy to that information, I would have flushed his big metal ass out of the airlock!"
"He's a non-believer." Drift said in a state of shock.
"I knew he had another motive for being here! I bet he's going to either arrest me or make me look like an idiot!" Rodimus growled.
"He's a non-believer." Drift said again as Rodimus glared at him.
"WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT!!!" Rodimus snapped. "Of course he's a non-believer! He also doesn't smile or have a sense of humor! He doesn't even believe that he has a soul! I don't even believe he has a soul!"
"I have to do more research!" Drift said as the door opened revealing the subject of their conversation.
Rodimus winced at the bright light filled the once darkened room. As soon as the Autobot commander's optics focused, he noticed the amused look on Ultra Magnus's face. Under one arm was a very large book. The Autobot Commander's eyes became large as he noticed what it was.
"Magnus, you have better be giving me that book as a foot rest!" Rodimus said as Ultra Magnus tried to keep himself from laughing by schooling his features. "Oh come on! Let it out! You know you want to laugh! Go ahead! Laugh at my expense!"
"It's the non-believer!" Drift accused as Ultra Magnus rolled his optics.
"You know fraternization is against the Autobot army Codes of Conduct, especially with a commanding officer! Also, tying someone up against their will is a criminal offense unless the other person agreed to it!" Ultra Magnus started.
"I didn't agree to it!" Rodimus cried out.
"What?" Drift asked.
"You know what a Code of Conduct is, don't you? Even as dumb as Rodimus could be sometimes, he even knows!" Ultra Magnus said.
"HEY! I resent that remark!" Rodimus shouted.
"No, you represent that remark!" Ultra Magnus shot back as he took a hold of the thick book in his hands. "In Section 3, subpart
oh hell! Look it up!"
Ultra Magnus rose the large heavy book a bit and then tossed it at Drift's head, knocking him unconscious. Ultra Magnus then turned toward his commanding officer and looked him and up and down. A sinister grin came to his face as he took out a small device, brought it to eye level, and then took a digital picture.
"No you so did NOT do that!" Rodimus said in protest. "I knew it! I knew you were either going to either arrest me or humiliate me!"
"I like the latter option better." Magnus grinned as he put the device away.
"I am going to find that stupid thing on you and then I am going to smash it with my foot!" Rodimus threatened.
"No you won't." Magnus said as he began to back out the door.
"Why not!" Rodimus demanded.
"Because I am going to leave you hanging there. I mean, really Roddy, if you're going to act out one of your fetish fantasies, at least have the decency to lock the door." Magnus's grin became more evil. "Buh bye!" Magnus left the room and closed the door behind him.
"WHAT!?" Rodimus shouted. "MAGNUS!! YOU BASTARD!! GET YOUR BIG ASS BACK HERE AND CUT ME DOWN!! YOU BETTER NOT PUBLISH THAT PICTURE OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!!"
I love this video. I listen to this often and repeat after the person in the video. Listen to this with headphones on.